I’m not mad about Saffron, as a color that is. Donovan was, but he was talking about a girl named Saffron, or he might have been referring to a psychedelic drug he liked that was close to that color. I like the name and the spice, but, really now, saffron is just a euphemism for plain old yellow, a color that has few things going for it. A saffron chiffon creation sounds like a fashion delight, but bottom line is it’s just a gauzy yellow dress, not my favorite.
And I know that yellow is a primary color, but why is it the only primary color name with more than one syllable, huh? Blue and red are the other primary colors. (Who knows about white and black; the jury is still out on that topic. Some say white is a color, as it is all colors mixed into one, and black is the absence of color. What we do know is that “white” and “black” are both one-syllable words). And thank god for blue and red; otherwise there wouldn’t be a way to alter yellow into a more aesthetically pleasing color, like green or orange (not my favorite either, but, still, better than yellow by far).
I mean, look at these two syllables. “Yel,” short for “yell,” denotes loudness, aggressiveness, frustration, a heightened almost anything, to me at least. I hate it when I have to yell because otherwise my mother can’t hear what I’m saying. “Low,” on the other hand, as an adjective can mean sinister, debased, or depressed. Of course, “blue” can also signify an out-of-sorts mood, but it’s way more musical (“Am I Blue,” “Blue Bayou,” “Blue Moon; “ “The Yellow Rose of Texas” hardly compares). Even if you divide the word incorrectly, into “yell” and “ow,” still you are left with two words that are negative in tone: “Don’t yell; ow , you’re hurting my ears! Well, let me tell you, “yellow” hurts my ears and eyes both.
We associate the color yellow with all kinds of nastiness. Yellow fever (similar to malaria), named as such, I guess, because of the jaundice that results from liver damage in extreme cases. The liver is an organ situated close to another similarly functioning organ, the gall (why, the gall of him!) bladder, where bile is stored. Bile is… guess what color. Yup, yellow. Every time my elderly shih tzu has an attack of pancreatitis, she pukes little pools of bile (I think that’s what it is anyway).
Then we have all of the various bodily excrement which is yellow in color (hope you’ve had your breakfast already). The most obvious is urine, or pee, as it’s more commonly known. I have most of my contact with this lovely liquid when I have to clean up doggie accidents on the tile floors, also when I clean the toilet rim, which I do because evidently my husband is color blind. And guess what, if it’s mellow, I don’t let it mellow; I flush it down just like I do the brown (another “color” that’s been bastardized by yellow, though in a good way when it comes to clothing color, as it cuts the starkness of black for better daytime wear). I have already mentioned puke, or vomit, if you want to be more proper. In addition, the tar from tobacco stains smoker’s fingers and teeth yellow. So do coffee and tea (the teeth and tongue). When I quit smoking way back when, it took a good year for my fingernails to grow out so that they were pink and white instead of yellow. Also, when one’s sputum or snot is yellow, an infection is indicated; that’s not a good thing (the infection, I mean). I’ve noticed, too, that old folks’ hair sometimes turns an unattractive shade of yellow. That must be why some elderly ladies rinse their hair blue, pink or purple.
Plastics and rubber items turn yellow with age. We’ve all seen evidence of this phenomenon in linoleum and Formica. Then there’s yellow journalism; I hope I never stoop so low. Also, there is that deplorable character trait that’s associated with the color yellow, known as cowardice. Most of the examples I can think of have come from John Wayne movies: “Why, you’re just a good-for-nothin’, lily-livered, yellow-bellied coward.” Sometimes, in this context, “yellow” is pronounced as “yella” or “yeller.” The sun is yellow; it’ll blind us permanently if we look directly at it. Then there’s the banana slug. Need I say more?
There are some positives that I can think of that are associated with the color yellow. There’s that delightful bird known as the yellow-bellied sapsucker (Why, you…). In fact, all yellow birds (including the song by that title) are pleasant. And we all know and love Old Yeller, don’t we. (Ah, what a touching book and darling Disney movie–only trouble is, it’s too sad a story to read or watch.) And so are most flowers pleasing to behold, the dandelion being an exception. Bananas and mangoes are two of my favorite fruits, and I like sweet potatoes and corn, all yellow. And I must admit, some people can carry off the color yellow as a fashion statement. One of my best friends looks great in yellow. So does one of my sisters. Has a lot to do with hair color and complexion. My complexion tends toward sallow (another unpleasant shade of yellow) and becomes rather sickly looking when it reflects off of yellow clothing.
Here’s what worries me about me and the color yellow though. A couple of months ago, I bought two tops that are primarily yellow. I think they look pretty good on me.
Disclaimer: If yellow is one of your favorite colors, I apologize profusely, but I doubt that we can ever be friends.
Rosann Rants 